The entertaining blue route golden tour driver’s commentaries

The below is a collection of things that our entertaining driver said. I wish that we had stayed for the entire ride, but we HAVE our places to visit.

(…) – sth else in between
xx – name

 

You see these cars at the side? They all belong to the police. They are not supposed to park there but .. well… they are the police.. so  …

This is nick xxx (ticker seller), he’s a nice person… likes to help people and point them in the right direction.. as well as to take your money.

This is whitehall… our roads are named after things … there are stories behind them… and this one is obviously after … white hall…

There is a blue rooster on the right… a statue… of a rooster… in blue… its a symbol of feminism…. its a rooster… but symbol of feminism… don’t see the link… but there you go. (Later informed by the other guide that its made by a german artist and supposed to represent UK but the blue is a french blue and rooster is the symbol of France)

There! The soldier guarding the barracks is there. If u wave, he might wave back. (Soldier waved while grinning after hearing his commentary)

The metropolitan police there… ohh, a policeman there on the right. You might want to wave to him. He might wave back. (Police waved while hanging from the vehicle after listening to his commentary)

Green Park. There is not a single flower in here. Its all green…. which is why it is green park… not a single flower… that’s why its called green park. Like I said, our names have stories. (Certified true by the other guide who said that there are 2 stories behind that and her fave was that of a queen seeing the king picking flowers for his mistress and got jealous and had guards pull up all the flowers.)

Hype park… there used to be a hospital… free of charge. There wasn’t a single chair. Now its a hotel… very expensive to stay one night…. but it used to be a hospital.. free of charge. (Said the same about another hotel after 30 minutes or so) (apparently no stone leaves here and everything gets recycled)

This is the prince of wales gate. All the gates are named after royal family members. This on the right… prince of wales gates….(……..)….All the gates are painted black to show mourning…. (they are named after queen victoria’s family members)

.. there used to be a lot of highroad robberies … they hide in the trees, you can’t see them. and then say,”stand and present your money or your life.” So they cut the trees here so people can see and the highwaymen can’t hide. (Later said the same about another place.. “used to have a lot of highroad robberies here.. so we cut all the trees away”)

Ya, I lie about stuff on the microphone… (….) if you have any qns, feel free to ask… gives me something to say over the microphone or I’ll get bored. You can also ask the men in blue… the people u buy ur tickets from… or white…not white? but it says golden tours.

I’m going to go a little fast here… so sit tight… my favourite road… a little bumpy (and he went fast and we enjoyed)

Here we are (at the next stop)… we are a little early, we can’t be too early, so I’m gonna stop here for a while… let passengers get on board.

The xx underground… it used to be very black and smokey.. imagine the ladies in their white dresses going in … they come out all black.

Harrods… (…) we are going to stop here now to wait for the shoppers to join us …. only 3 minutes… (ticket seller w us laughed “wait for the shoppers”) ya.. the cafe is open now.. so u can get a cup of coffee.. or tea.. but harrods will open later at 10. (…) oh.. people are coming back now (people who got off our bus) .. so maybe its not open.

On the left.. the xx house… the address is no.1 London. No.1 London. No postcode needed… nor any other address… just No.1 London (it was really known as “no.1 hyde park” even though the real address is 200 sth sth. Apparently the its the no.1 most expensive apartments and had bulletproof windows. The building itself is earthquake proof)

So this is xxxx (another ticket seller) he’s walking away… loads of people here, so he’s gonna try to sell them… so We will wait here for people to get on … there! There! he’s coming running (a jogger) he wants to get on… (jogger passes) ohhh….

…apple road … there’s an iphone store there and its name is apple. Its name is apple and it is selling iphones. But its called apple .

You see on the left there… there’s a mark.. cross.. there.. with the cross.. did u see that? On the ground with the circle. That used to be a hanging place for criminals… used to be a lot of people…. its like the ancient days british got talent or x factor. The people come to watch the hanging with their family…. they get their food and drinks and get really drunk… drink that last drink and then the hanging starts.. get hung and the next day they get split headaches… they get a hangover u see… after the hanging is over … its hangover (didn’t see the cross but it really is for hanging.. and people do watch the hanging after the finished their food and drinks. There is a fake tree with branches enough to hang 25 people at one go. You can hang people for a lot of crimes.. including suicide. As the words of the other guide “basically they finish up for you.”)

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